Thursday, March 6, 2008

Beach Body

So when I think of Hawaii I think about beautiful sunsets, luaus, leis, waterfalls, and gorgeous tan skinned people. Well you can find all those things except the last one. Don't get me wrong - there are some native Hawaiians and Tongans with that envied tan skin, but you don't see many of them at the beach.
I can spot a tourist a mile away! The population on the island is about 140,000 and there are at any given time approximately 80,000 tourists. Most of the tourists that go to "my beach" (the beach that's 2 blocks away) are at least 60+ years old! They are white and pasty or red from a sunburn. Being that old you have no shame. You just say to hell with it, I am going to scoop these boobs up and pour them into a bikini. They don't show you that on the brochure.
This one woman I will never forget. She actually had extremely tan skin, quite leathered and wrinkly. She was walking along the waters edge at a pretty slow pace, probably in part because she a had a little bit of hunch back. Her bathing suit had one of those tutus like you would wear when you were five. It was a bright yellow suit and I was trying as hard as I could to tell if it was one or two pieces. Finally as she got closer I could tell that it was 2 pieces, but you just couldn't see much skin between because of her hunched position. One of the most bizarre things I have ever seen.
That's all you see around here is really old people and a handful of newlyweds. There are no children on this island. The locals are made up of a lot of retired people and a lot of hippie-like single people. There are also the Tongans who actually have pretty big families. I think they are they only supply of children on the island.
For those of you who have seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang I liken it to that. We live in "Bulgaria" and children are not allowed. Anywhere I go I can pretty much count on having the only children there, Costco, grocery shopping, even the beach. It's really weird. At least we have church. You can always count on Mormons to have kids. :)
Maui has been really interesting so far. We are still in our tourist phase so everything is new and exciting. Every weekend we are trying to see all the sights. A lot of adventures are not kid friendly, but we have had our share of fun though. I will keep you posted with all our crazy adventures. And if I can discretely take a pictures of a 70 year old couple in their bathing suits I will gladly share that with you!

2 comments:

brookiebaby said...

You are soooo funny! I love the scooping the boobs part the best! :) I'm so jealous of your island adventure, but so glad that you are having fun! :) You deserve it! :)
So glad that we're keeping in touch! Take CAre!
Brooke

Lydia said...

I think you should keep your eye out for my friend Fred's 400 lb. dad. He looks awesome in a bathing suit. He likes to lay on the beach and let the water splash up over him, kinda like a bit fat polynesian beached whale!